We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
