I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just cropdusted the office
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize