i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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