Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
