lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
