you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
