I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize