...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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