Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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