Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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