All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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