i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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