I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
