there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
