If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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