I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
