Don't make out with my wife yet
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
