Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize