these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
