Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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