Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
