I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
