this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
