you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
