White coat. Heels.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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