I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
