No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
