is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize