first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
