I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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