I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
