He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize