Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
