my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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