she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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