So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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