I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
