you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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