Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
