My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
ok first of all what the fuck
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
