Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im just a social blackout drinker.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
