I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
