Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
