the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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