well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
