My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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