Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
