How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
