two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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