I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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