even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
