Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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