If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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