Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
