i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
