he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
