Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize