I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
