is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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