you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize