You're my little dorito
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
