So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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