I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
