I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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