Im at strip club and am horny
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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