i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize