i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize